Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Feeling very unsympathetic today

I had a poor sleep last night, I admit it. This definitely affects my mood as much as a lack of sleep affects the kids'!

And let me tell you, there are some kids in my midst with a lack of sleep, too!!! lol

My 5yo niece is with us today because she was very tired this morning and not feeling great. Well, she's actually been fine--most of the day. We had an incident not long ago where she was playing dinosaurs with ds and her little sister--they were the dinosaurs and kind of attacking each other with pillows. Well, ds is 10 and a boy and niece is 5 and a girl and TIRED--ds hit too hard, she says she's not going to play anymore, so the 3yo says she's not playing anymore. He comes upstairs pouting (yes, he had a poor sleep, too), in light tears because his cousins won't play with him. (No, I had no sympathy for him. My mind went: Why is he crying over two little girls no longer playing with him after he's been playing with them for hours?) The 16yo is talking with the 5yo, trying to figure out a bit what happened. 5yo says at one point, "He hit me for fun." Meaning--he hit me because he thought it was fun. The 16yo said, "Well, you were having a dinosaur pillow fight. You're going to get hit." She tried to hide a smile at the dinosaur pillow fight comment, and I said something, can't remember what. She switched to tears in an instant, "But he hit me hard!" (This was about 5 minutes AFTER she had actually been hit, but immediately after me, the authority figure, takes notice.) I was not sympathetic, I admit it. I told her that she didn't cry when it happened, she could stop crying about it now (she has a habit of putting on tears to suit her purposes; I wouldn't say this to any child!) and go to bed like mom wanted her to. She stopped crying instantly and went to bed. For 2 minutes. lol. We have to go out soon, so I'm not going to force the nap issue.

Earlier, 13yo dd was in the kitchen with the 16yo, who had "stolen" a little microbe stuffed toy from her. He is 5'9", she is 4'8" (and finally growing! yes, she's below the 5th percentile for height!). He was holding it out of her reach, waving it around, and she was trying to get it back. It was all in play, nothing serious. But... In our small kitchen. Where there were dishes on the counter and things being cooked on the stove. Had I known, I would have asked them to think about a better place to play their game. All of a sudden I hear, "I'm sorry, are you okay?" Dd had tried really hard to get the toy, she jumped or something, he lost his balance, in her direction, and she fell against the dishes and counter, hitting her shoulder and twisting her arm. I had some sypmathy, but not much, I'm ashamed to say. It was all I could do to keep myself from saying, "What are you doing playing like that in the kitchen??" I hugged her, got her an ice pack, gave her a Motrin, stroked her head here and there.

My 3yo niece all of a sudden started crying very loudly a few minutes ago. Like she'd been pushed over or something physical. "What happened?" Both boys were down there and neither one knew. "What happened right before she started crying?" Ds said she had hit him and he told her no. She then started for the stairs with her huge crying and tears. Oh man. (No, no sympathy this time either. I think rightfully so. lol.)

My 5yo niece was writing on a chalkboard easel that was near a wall--she was on the wall side. Ds was goofing around with a blanket, it hit the chalkboard and it went in her direction minimally. A loud angry "Hey" and his name came out of her mouth. "What happened?" (This has been my phrase for today. *sigh*) Ds explained. A minute later, the 5yo decides to pipe in, with tears, how ds caused her finger to be pinched. I told her she could stop right away or go to bed, like before. She stopped. (Funny how easily controlled those tears are, eh? I tried in the past to just let her cry when she does these kinds of things, but all that ever succeeded in her doing was focusing on the issue more and more until she became thoroughly convinced of the injustice and was crying very loudly, even 10-15 minutes or more later, or had switched her mind to some other reason to cry. It wasn't helping. That's not to say I don't ever let her cry, I just know her well enough to know when the tears are authentic sadness over something or actual pain versus when they are sympathy seeking, especially to blame someone else/get the other in trouble. Or just the result of tiredness and fixating on a supposed injustice. ;) ) Nope, I had no sympathy about the pinched fingers. A 2-minute delay for the pain to cause tears just doesn't work for me. Especially when I'm tired.

Hoping for a really good sleep tonight, not just for me, but for everybody!

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