Babble babble

:D

Tired and not sure what to do with myself, so I figured I would blog.

It looks like I didn't blog at all last week. Not sure I can recall enough to share. A few of us were sick at least one day, my 3yo niece was tired ALL week. The 16yo is getting further and further behind in his work. I asked him on Friday what he was going to do to catch up. He said he didn't know. I asked him to think about it this weekend. If he gets here Tuesday (tomorrow's a holiday here) and hasn't come up with anything (which I think is likely), I already have a plan! heh heh. ;) It's not a mean plan, but it's got to be done. He does not care enough about the work, he has fallen into some disruptive behaviours, which is almost always a sign of something stressing him and he's avoiding it or looking at making himself feel better by engaging in disruptive "fun". I don't think it's specifically the work; there's some stuff going on at home, I think. He's also been complaining about his stomach hurting, which tends to occur more when he's stressed about something. I think I'd like to read through Choice Theory again and maybe Reality Therapy In Action--I've used tools from both in the past to get him to move forward.

So, what's my plan? Well, double up the sections he's covering in math and physics, the two he's behind in, but at the same time, cutting back on the number of questions, until he's caught up (I can't remember how long that will take with this approach). The questions will all be typed up on worksheets. I will make it clear to him that I've cut back on the number he's supposed to do, which means there is not enough practice in just the work he's being given to learn it well--meaning, he will not get the average he says he wants unless he does more than what I'm giving him. If he wants to do better than a C, he will have to do extra at some point--either take things home for homework, work in books designed for extra practice, etc. If he does not get the day's assigned work done in the time he's here, he has to take all incomplete work home. I haven't yet decided what to do if he doesn't get the homework done. I'm thinking of a couple of options to give him: 1) He works first thing on all the incomplete work and then we move onto the day's work, which, again, if he doesn't finish during the day, he has to bring work home; 2) It will be just like in school: Don't get the work done, well, that's too bad, we're moving on and it will affect your ability to do the end-of-unit work, which he can do open book, but he will not be receiving other assistance with it (that's actually part of the work agreement with the school).

This feels harsh in some ways, but I've fallen into enabling him again. I've had a pattern of not insisting on staying up-to-date in his work, then I focus on nothing but him to get him caught up at the end of the semester. I rescue him. (The topic of rescuing vs helping came up on a list I'm on, which is what led to me thinking about the plan above.) I'm not going to rescue him anymore. I will let him fail if that's what he's going to choose to do. It's not so much failing that he's choosing, but he's choosing to not push through uncomfortable feelings, which leads to giving up and failing; indirectly choosing to fail, I think in part because he expects to be rescued. I really need to reread Choice Theory and Reality Therapy In Action because the techniques and information would be so useful in helping him be aware of his choices and their consequences, and that he is capable of choosing something different. This is by no means a "normalized" child, never has been, and he is now 16, has an LD label and many poor coping techniques that are being increasingly used lately; a typical Montessori approach is not helpful (although a good Erdkiner during his junior high years might have made a huge difference for him!). He talks about going to college, but he is so darn dependent (yes, I know, I've allowed it) and doesn't want to handle feeling uncomfortable or frustrated with something, I just don't see how he would even be able to do a single class. He needs to be challenged and guided through challenges now, not when he ends up in college and nobody there is going to really care.

With my two... I had started on some topic one morning, which led to a question about something else, which led to us looking up online about the Mayan calendar and somehow that all led to me saying I wanted to make a lapbook. Well, that got dd going AND ds going--he's never made a lapbook, never done any kind of real research work and presentation. This is sure to keep us busy for the next while. I'm working on Benjamin Franklin, ds is working on dinosaurs and dd is doing Vikings. I will still start our mornings off with our routine (get ready for the day, religion, at least one lesson to start), but now we have some additional work to tackle during the day. I'm so excited. :)

I can't remember what I brought out for the 3yo this week. She ended up napping a lot--she spent the week waking up early to pee or having a nightmare or things like that. Oh, but here's some wonderful progress: the 16yo wanted to get her to talk. She will talk with ds and sometimes to dd, a little bit to me, but just to ask if I can open this or that or do something for her. She wouldn't talk to the 16yo. Somehow or other, they were playing and she started playfully hitting him. He said she could only hit him again if she talked. So, he got her to take part in a discussion with him, intermittent with her hitting him. LOL (It sounds awful, but it was all fun and very cute.) She talked and talked and talked. And showed how much she has been listening to what we say. He asked her why she doesn't talk anymore: she replied it was because her big sister had gone to school. (I've said that to the olders in the past! Little sneak! lol) I'm hoping this new-found speech will stay. It was so good to have her fully back like that.

Speaking of the 3yo, it reminds me that one of my projects for this weekend is tackling the school shelves. The girls have been taking things out and not putting them back in the right spot. Plus there are things that aren't being used that could be temporarily stored. A project for tomorrow. I used to have some Classification Card sets that I'd made; I wonder if I will be able to find them, or if I even still have them. They would be a fantastic activity for me to have out on the shelves.


***EDIT***: If only to confirm what I posted minutes ago about my plans for the 16yo, I went into an email account, clicked on a link about the quote of the day, to find this:

High expectations are the key to everything.

~Sam Walton (Wal-Mart founder)

I want him to do a lot, but I don't think I expect it of him. I need to expect it of him and take steps, like the above, to help him to meet the expectations. His own expectations are completely off base and unrealistic.

Thinking, thinking, thinking

I'm on a Charlotte Mason list where the topic of schedules came up. I know we need a schedule around here, even if it's just to say, "8:30-11:30 is morning work time. 11:30-12:15 is lunch. Etc." But, this particular thread had something about the CM high school schedule and how it went from 9-1 before the break for lunch.

I need to have something different here and it has to be clear in my head. I'm becoming aware of how the 16yo is really pushing to not be challenged. To slack off. I have to set some "rules, boundaries and limitations", as Cesar Millan would say.

This CM thread has got me thinking. If the 16yo actually did 4 hours of work, then he would be on track for what he has to get done. I don't know that I like the idea of 4 hours straight, especially since it would be hard to make work with the different ages around here. However, I could set a rule of: 2 subjects' work for the day needs to be done before you break for lunch (9-11). Once that's met, make it 3 subjects. (9-12) LA could be left for the afternoons and we could do more group stuff together, with writing workshop things that would blend in well with the work he needs to submit for credit.

That feels so controlling, yet there has to be some sort of limit with him. We've finished 3 days of 2nd semester and he is 2 days behind. *sigh*

I did not have a chance to plan things more for what my kids can do for work time. I know I need to go deeper than just topics they can explore and actually provide examples and directed work. I also need to work on giving the 16yo a question to work on and he tackles it while I do something with my 2.

As I write and think, things are clicking together in my mind. I don't know about starting with a 2-hour work period. I'm thinking I ought to just go right for the 3 hours, as we used to do. My 2 could start earlier and end their 3 hours with some free time before lunch. With the 16yo, rather than a rule of "this many subjects need to be done by lunch"--or rather than *me* setting such a rule--I could point out to him that if he got 3 subjects done in the morning, that would only leave 1 to cover in the afternoon. And how for the next while, we are missing 2 afternoons a week, so he needs to figure out how to make up for that time. PLUS he is getting a week off at the end of February because his Dad will be away and no means of getting him here (nope, no licence), so he has to actually get ahead before he leaves.

I think I need to set some rules for myself so that I don't get caught up in spur of the moment ideas and back track on things I've said need to be done first.

Right now, I think I'll take a moment to have a look at some Montessori science albums I purchased and get my thinking going for next week.

Freedom in learning--even in piano

I have never insisted upon music practice, lessons, etc. for my kids. I've shown them things here and there, provided them with instruments and helpful books and that's it. I know some Montessori elementary schools have a set music time each week (I don't know if the children have the option of going or not) and have structured lessons. I have no clue what sort of expectations there are in terms of what the children do between lessons.

Let me say, though, that the Montessori approach works well even for music learning and a separate set-aside time is not necessary.

My daughter is nearly 13. Years ago, she was working through various kids' piano books, but let it go and as time went on, kind of felt like, "I've forgotten everything," and "I'm never going to be any good at it." She, for some reason, got hit by the piano bug again this past summer and started playing things at our old electronic keyboard (I've had it since I was 10 or 11!) I purchased a few new books and she made her way rapidly through the book for older beginners, feeling great as she went along. Every now and then, I did present little lessons that I hoped wouldn't come across as absolute corrections, even though they kind of were--like holding her hands and fingers properly. I didn't make a huge deal, just answered her questions as to why and took off the pressure by saying, "Don't really focus on it while you're trying to learn a song. If you try to do some little practice things with your hands curved, it'll go better." Taking the pressure off is always so important! Especially with this child! :)

In any case, her hand curvature is better and better and she is playing daily. Not because she has to, but because she wants to. Her progress since we purchased a new keyboard last month--which meant actually playing again because she had grown frustrated in August with the old crackly, inconsistent sound of the old keyboard--has been phenomenal. I offered to find piano lessons for her, but she replied with: "I don't want to have to practise and work on things that I don't really want to do. I just want to play and have fun with it." Piano lessons from outside source = pressure. She doesn't want the pressure. She places enough pressure on herself!

Will she ever be some virtuoso? I have no clue. Maybe one day she'll hit a point where she would like to improve beyond what she's been able to do on her own and then seek out someone to guide her further. But until then, the freedom to progress at her pace with the pieces she wants to learn... Well, I can't think of anything more Montessori than that, can you? :)

Determined focus on its way

I've been working on my determined focus for the school week. Because ds tends to just try to get through work really quickly to go have fun, I decided to have him do a schedule tomorrow. Yes, horribly un-Montessori of me; however, it does kind of fit with my feeling to incorporate a bit of Charlotte Mason into the mix.

Here's his schedule for tomorrow (Monday):

8:45 - French
-handwriting
-spelling/grammar workbook
-reading or writing, his choice

9:15 - Math
-place value lesson, then do worksheet and/or create his own numbers

9:45 - break time for everybody

10:00 - Science
-look through library books, make a poster of things learned, find an experiment, his choice

10:30 - Social Studies
-work on learning the name and location of 5-10 states--colouring and labelling the states on a map and practising mentally to name them or locate them on a blank map

11:00 - Free choice
-art, Garage Band, guitar in his room, piano (with headphones), German, or other educational, OR spend time with nearly 3yo

11:45 - lunch time for us all, followed by at least 15 minutes of silent reading

~12:30 - free choice of activities, as long as it doesn't bother those who are working (meaning, Joe and most likely dd)

So, it's nothing super heavy, but provides a structure to give a sense of, "Hey, this is work time." If I had the luxury of simply presenting lessons throughout the morning, I would, but I don't! Joe is likely to go completely off track. That's an area to definitely work on this year: developing focus and independence in work. It's not that he can't--he does it now and then when he has an idea of something he wants to be able to do that day but I say work comes first. It's developing the habit of doing it. (Oooooh, there's Charlotte Mason again.)

For Joe, here's what I've come up with:

8:45 - ELA part 1 (handwriting, spelling, phonics/oral reading)--so, really, three different activities during that time
9:10 - Math part 1 (continue with the trig, or pick a different unit; if trig, do at least half of the questions)
9:45 - collective break
10:00 - science -- first assignment for environment unit
11:00 - mini-break followed by Math part 2
11:45 - lunch and silent reading
~12:30 - ELA part 2 (work on chapter 1 analysis--I have a sheet for him to fill out; and listen to up to 30 minutes of the novel)
1:30+ - discuss diploma; if going ahead, start social studies! Discussion topic--could last 30-45 minutes

Done for Monday.

If he is going to go for the diploma, we'll have to have at least a few days each week where he works until at least 2:30. I am busy with a class Wednesday afternoons, and Friday afternoons are usually off, so I guess that means the other days will be work afternoons for him.

On other thoughts: I thought about how his education is more than just the academic subjects he's covering. I've requested "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens"--the only copies available right now from the library were on CD, so we can put it on during lunch hour or something; at the same time, it saves me from having to sit down and read! I also know I need to start building in learning strategies with him. He was doing some copywork last Friday and he complained about something. I asked a few questions and basically, it turned out he had no strategy whatsoever for copying the words. "Are you reading the words before copying?" "No." Ach. He's been trying to copy letters at a time. That's not at all helpful! And it's very hard. No wonder he hates copying!!! I'd like to find various resources on learning strategies to mix with our work during the school year. We do have access to an online course, but it seems to assume basic strategies are already in place--it gets right into taking notes and time management. I need something more basic than that for now.

I'd also really like to do the Socratic Logic this year, or get started on it--I think it'll be interesting and I think Joe could benefit from some logic training! :)

I did plan for dd, too, but just a list of things for her to do, requiring that she work on French, math, science and social studies tomorrow. She is good at picking something and just getting to work, so no need of a schedule for her. She would love and fit in well with a Montessori Erdkinder!